I catch a few minutes here and there of cable news. I watched, for instance, Keith return from vacation on Countdown to address Tony Snow's death, where he shared that they'd had an email relationship ever since Keith named him the Worst Person one day. Tony emailed him to say he might want to laminate his picture because he's sure he'd earn the dubious honor a few more times before all was said and done, and from there they emailed back and forth regularly. Keith then berates Tony's colleagues for not learning from Tony's ability to separate message from messenger (not that Keith does that) and blasted the New York Post for stuff it printed about Keith.
I flipped to O'Reilly where he was interviewing friends and colleagues of Tony Snow to share fond memories of him.
I decided as an experiment to watch in full, MSNBC's Countdown with Keith Olbermann, and Fox News' The O'Reilly Factor, as these two guys transparently dislike each other. Keith hates all things Fox because he was fired by Fox Sports in 2001, and he watched his ratings climb on MSNBC when he made his attacks more and more personal against O'Reilly. Bill hates GE, owner of NBC, for letting Keith get more and more nakedly partisan and personal in his attacks.
Countdown with Keith Olbermann:
He starts off with spin. "The GOP falsely accused Barack Obama of renegging on his word about public financing..." Uh, no, I've seen the tape of Obama what he said and how he went back on it. This could be a long hour.
He calls in Newsweek's Howard Fineman, friendly to Keith's worldview, though Fineman is pretty good at trying to stay objective. They go over the funding race, which has some good details. I just noticed how much make-up Keith has on.
The battleground states map is eyebrow-raising. Flyover country's looking awful checkered. When he goes into it further, it looks like Bob Barr, Libertarian, is getting 6-9% of the vote here and there, all taking away from McCain's votes. Barr could be the Nader of 2000. I said it; he didn't.
Now we bring in Chris Kofinis, former John Edwards campaign spokesman, and the two of them playfully bat the Obama-will-win ball back and forth, talking about how much damage Bush has done to the Republican brand and how Obama is exciting and energizing voters, both points I agree with.
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Keith goes into how Katie Couric, Brian Williams and Charles Gibson will accompany Obama on his Mid-East trip, with the take that even though McCain's been over there several times, one of his trips was a photo-op trip so McCain's hypocritical for calling Obama's trip a photo-op. Wow, he really dislikes McCain.
Joining him now is Dana Milbank, Washington post reporter who shares Keith's worldview and reaffirms Keith's conclusions. But we learn McCain's camp didn't invite the Big Three on his trip(s) but Obama invited the Big Three. Keith actually allows the McCain claim on unfair network coverage, where the Big Three spent 114 minutes on Obama last week and 48 minutes on McCain, and asks if that is the only metric for measuring media coverage.
Bushed! Segment
3. SMU Librarygate - Sounds like a scandal where the school is demanding donations to the future Dubya "liberry" to get access to senior officials.
2. Justicegate - In 2003, Ashcroft recommended five names to head the Justice Dept., but Andy Card wanted John Yu (sp?) who drafted the "torture memo" instead.
1. Appeasementgate - Bush says the State Dept. is appeasing Iran like Europe appeased the Nazis. Isn't Bush over the State Dept.? I missed what Bush said exactly but I wans't rewinding anything at this point.
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Oddball segment
- A monk fronting a heavy-metal band.
- A shark has PVC pipe stuck in his mouth. He makes a Rush Limbaugh joke but I missed it.
- A drunk ref during a Belarus soccer game.
- Ryan Seacrest nominated for Emmy for hosting "reality" series. Keith apparently has no problem with Tom Bergeron, Heidi Klum, Howie Mandel or Jeff Probst, but man, Seacrest getting nominated is outrageous. Outrageous!
World's Best Persons
(I missed the logic of why these are the Best Persons; it seems like an excuse to slam three more "Worst" persons)
3. NASA - asking for urine donations
2. Tamien Bain - won a contest for coming up with a McDonald's jingle. He once went to jail for robbing a McDonald's.
1. Phil Gramm - the "nation of whiners" senator once financed some soft-core porn movies. Great. Keith goes to commercial with Matthew Broderick singing "I want to be a producerrrr." Funny.
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Next Keith decided to demonstrate his contempt for McCain further, repeating a rape joke from 1986 that John McCain said he didn't recall saying, a bad joke about killing Iranians, a bad joke about Chelsea Clinton being ugly cuz her dad is Janet Reno, etc. McCain's spokesman said of the 1986 ape-rape joke, it's an example of McCain being McCain. Ouch. Keith became indignant over McCain's treatment of women, ironic considering Keith's history of misogyny, but we won't go there, will we? Let's face it. The jokes are bad and Keith has a good point.
But Keith is never one to just make a good point. Nooo, let's bring in another talking-head to reaffirm Keith's worldview. It's Air America's Rachel Maddow, who guest-hosted while Keith was on vacation, and the two of them go back and forth with smug grins on how inauthentic McCain is. If you hate McCain, this segment must have been milk and honey. "McCain being McCain" means being sadistic and mean, which Keith says appeals to the base. They review what positions McCain has flip-flopped on. I love how he says "what would the media do if this had been Obama who made a rape joke in 1986?" My guess is he'd downplay it.
Next Keith reveals that Michael Moore is fair and honest in his documentaries and the day will come when all Republicans will peel back their skin to reveal they've been the lizards from V all along. Just kidding. Or am I? (Mike Myers eyebrow-raise).
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Worst Persons in the World
Worse - John Ashcroft - Keith take a statement from John, twists it around, and tries to make him look like a liar and buffoon.
Worser - The TSA terrorist watchlist - A reporter critical of the watchlist was added to the list.
Worst - Bill O'Reilly - He calls him Billo the Clown. First he "violates all precepts of journalism" by playing the tape of Jesse Jackson saying Barack Obama was talking down to black people, which makes me throw the bullcrap flag right away. You telling me if Rush Limbaugh whispered near a mike he didn't think was still on he'd like to cut McCain's gonads off, he wouldn't play that gleefully? Does O'Reilly consider himself a journalist? Does Keith? I can't keep track of what standards e feels like O'Reilly should have, and what his own standards are. by Bill's refusal to play the part of the tape where Jackson uses the N-word, Keith says it's "self-righteous, self-contradictory nonsense." Keith concludes with that crap-eating grin that Billo is the Worst Person in the World!
If Bill O'Reilly died, I think Keith'd graffiti his grave and prank-call Bill's kids to say "Your stupid father's dead! HAHAHAHAHA!" Yes, Keith has brought up Bill's kids on his show before.
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Keith then concludes with a slam on American Idol, which Keith hates because it's on Fox. He gets in a few slams on Ryan Seacrest. Wow, did Ryan tell a reporter somewhere once he doesn't watch Countdown? Did Seacrest vote for Bush? Keith practically challenges Ryan to meet him behind the playground at 3:00.
Then he gets in the story of Andy Dick groping a teen girl, skips by that one pretty quickly, then he mentions Verne Troyer sex tape. Next, he shares the birth of Angelina Jolie's twins as a way of slamming the town's mayor for caring more about Idol than solving the town's murder. Nice, France? I don't know; the mayor must be Republican. Do they have Republicans in France? He gets through all of these much quicker than his cackling contempt for American Idol, because it's on Fox.
He brings in Maria Malito, radio DJ, to go over what he's just said. She says American Idol has not jumped the shark, but thinks the eighth season might not be as good since they said they're going to show less of the train-wreck auditions. Keith blasts again the mere thought of Seacrest being nominated, and they agree Howie Mandel, NBC employee, will win.
Keith then makes a joke about Verne "Mini-Me" Troyer better not own a dog because he might get eaten by it. I guarantee - guarantee! - if Sean Hannity had made that joke, he would be declared the Worst Person in the World by Keitho the next night. About four different times, Keith used the rationalization, "If someone on the left did this, they'd be all over this." Like you're all over it because someone on the right did it? Do you see no disconnect there?
I think Keith would do well to get a wife and kids, something to keep him grounded and in touch with his humanity. Ann Coulter has no husband and kids and her right-wing rhetoric spun into the Embarrassment Zone years ago. I also think Keith is motivated by headlines. No one really noticed him news-wise until he started blasting away at O'Reilly daily, and if you're in third place, scream like mad about the guy in first to bring him to your level.
And just once it would be interesting to see Keith have a guest or talking-head or viewer email that disagrees with him.
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The O'Reilly Factor
We open the show on Tony Snow's funeral. Respectful recap of the funeral. He said he's passing on people's thoughts and prayers to Tony's wife.
Top Story - Katie Couric, Brian Williams and Charles Gibson to accompany Barack Obama on his photo-op trip to Iraq.
His first guests are Jane Hall and Bernard Goldberg, both of whom tend to agree with Bill O'Reilly. They all discuss how "The Media" is showing their bias, how they're all on board for Obama, because it's not like the Big Three anchors would accompany John McCain to Iraq.
Jane Hall says she'll take the other side. She said a few months ago, you guys were saying the media was McCain's base. O'Reilly says if they, the Big Three, come back with information they didn't know, he says he won't have a problem with it. Goldberg says we already know the media's in the tank for Obama. O'Reilly mentions he know the Big Three and likes two of them. I'm guessing Couric is the one he doesn't like. He tongue-in-cheek says he's offended that he wasn't invited on the trip.
Next they go over how Bill won't show the footage of Jackson saying the N-word. Goldberg says they couldn't disgree more. He said if Obama had used the N-word, it's news. He said Jackson's the most important civil-rights leader of the past 40 years who's publicly campaigned against the word. Hall disagrees, says you have editorial discretion. Bill goes on too long about how Goldberg is making an excellent point, but he still thinks he did the right thing. He refrains from patting himself on the back.
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Next we address Michelle Obama, saying she's going to step back from the spotlight, and to discuss, he has conservative radio host Monica Crowley and Obama supporter Lauren Lake (hey, someone who disagrees with his worldview!)
Crowley talks about how Michelle made those statements that are "incendiary" and Lake disagrees, says Michelle doesn't have to be in every play to impact the game. It doesn't really go anywhere. Bill can see it both ways.
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He interviews Megyn Kelly, who's now uncomfortable with her interview with the husband of the Central Park jogger, who was found dead. The husband is now a prime suspect, so Kelly got her oogies out with Bill.
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Bill interviews ABC's John Stossel about his upcoming special "Sex in America." Stossel's arguing that increased sexual information has not led to increases in abortions, teen pregnancy, teen sex in general, etc.
Bill argues that if you legalize gay marriage, you have to legalize polygamy, which Stossel agrees with and is fine. They talk about Warren Jeffs. Stossel argues that polygamy isn't that bad, that about 100,000 Americans are involved in polygamous relationships. They disagree on a few things in a friendly manner. I'll wager Keith will find something in this conversation to mock Bill about on tomorrow's show.
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Bill comes back with Hillary Clinton spokesman Howard Wolfson to discuss the media coverage of John McCain. He says news and cable news only cover about 20% of the people, so why is media bias important? Wolfson says the less informed you are, the less likely you will vote, and now I get why Wolfson's here. Wolfson's still mad at the bias against Hillary during the Democratic primary.
They go back to Obama promising he'd go on The O'Reilly Factor, but he hasn't shown up yet. Dismissed his appearance on Larry King Live, saying nobody watched. Wolfson said Hillary going on the Factor helped her (I agree; I saw it and it was a good interview for both). He said Obama will keep his promise and appear. Bill got a dig in there somewhere that only far-left loons watch NBC news. I know Bill has stepped up his criticism of GE and NBC due to Keith's daily insults, but Bill won't say Keith's name on his show.
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Bill comes back with Reality Check segment. Praises Americans for conserving and using less gas, which he credits to the drop in oil prices this past week. Next, he shows the clip of The View, where Whoopi and Sherrie say it's okay for black people to use the N-word but not white people. Bill says the word should just never be used. He then shows John McLaughlin describing Obama as an Oreo, to which Bill says "Good grief." He then shows a PETA commercial, where two parents are encouraging their daughter to be promiscuous, likening it to the irresponsibility of not spaying or nuetering your pets. Bill says PETA should stop equating humans to animals, but supports the spay-nueter thing.
Next, we see footage of a woman asking McCain why Viagra is covered by insurance but not birth control. McCain had no answer. Bill said it's simple. Viagra is for a medical condition; birth control is a choice. Next, he slams a Canadian reporter for saying Bill relentlessly slams Michelle Obama. Bill says it's a lie.
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Pinhead & Patriot segment
Patriot - The kid hit with a baseball at a Cubs game said when he gets out, he wants to play baseball.
Pinhead - NYTimes writer Josh Steinberg distorts ratings picture, propping up NBC News.
Emails - Bill goes over some emails he's received, some who agree with him, some who don't.
He ends showing some clips of the lighter side of Tony Snow rocking out.
Bill's got this braggadocious side to him. He almost takes credit for lower oil prices because he told Americans to conserve gas and they listened. Uh, yeah, I'm driving less cuz Bill said so, not because gas is the most expensive it's ever been in history. He's #1 in ratings, so he must be torn down, but there was nothing there to make me want to watch more than a few minutes here and there.
For the right, I like Glenn Beck more. For the left, I like Chris Matthews more.
Who am I voting for? Don't know yet.
If you need more negativity in your life:
http://www.oreilly-sucks.com
http://www.olbermannwatch.com
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